From woody@cse.unsw.edu.au Wed Apr 29 17:31:06 1998 Date: Wed, 29 Apr 1998 17:17:11 +1000 From: "Wood, Anthony" To: "'compsoc.unix@cse.unsw.edu.au'" Cc: "'garry@pp.nsw.gov.au'" , "'michael.van@pp.nsw.gov.au'" Subject: Vocab for the 90s [The following text is in the "iso-8859-1" character set] [Your display is set for the "US-ASCII" character set] [Some characters may be displayed incorrectly] > New Vocabulary for the 90's > > > Blamestorming: Sitting around in a group discussing why a deadline was missed or a project failed, and who was responsible. > Chainsaw Consultant An outside expert brought in to reduce the employee headcount, leaving the top brass with clean hands. > Cube Farm An office filled with cubicles. > 404 Someone who's clueless "Don't bother asking him; he's 404." From the WWW error message "404 Not Found", meaning the requested document couldn't be located. > Keyboard Plaque The disgusting buildup of dirt and crud found on computer keyboards. > Ohnosecond That minuscule fraction of time in which you realize that you've just made a big mistake. > Prairie Dogging When someone yells or drops something loudly in a cube farm, and people's heads pop up over the walls to see what's going on. > SITCOMs > What yuppies turn into when they have children and one of them stops > working to stay home with the kids. Stands for Single Income, Two > Children, Oppressive Mortgage. > > Starter Marriage > A short-lived first marriage that ends in divorce with no kids, no > property and no regrets. > > Swiped Out > An ATM or credit card that has been rendered useless because the > magnetic strip is worn away from extensive use. > > Tourists People who take training classes just to get a vacation from their jobs. "We had three serious students in the class; the rest were just tourists." > Treeware Slang for documentation or other printed material. > Going Postal Euphemism for being totally stressed out,for losing it. (Makes reference to the unfortunate track record of postal employees who have snapped and gone on shooting rampages.) > Alpha Geek The most knowledgeable, technically proficient person in an office or work group. "Ask Larry, he's the alpha geek around here." > Assmosis The process by which some people seem to absorb success and advancement by kissing up to the boss rather than working hard. > Beepilepsy The brief seizure people sometimes have when their beeper goes off (especially in vibrator mode). Characterized by physical spasms, goofy facial expressions and interruption of speech in mid-sentence. > Crapplet > A badly written or profoundly useless Java applet. "I just wasted > 30 minutes downloading this stinkin' crapplet!" > > Dancing Baloney Little animated GIFs and other Web F/X that are useless and serve simply to impress clients. "This page is kinda dull. Maybe a little dancing baloney will help." > Generica Features of the American landscape that are exactly the same no matter where one is. "We were so lost in generica, I actually forgot what city we were in. > Irritainment - Entertainment and media spectacles that are annoying, > but you find yourself unable to stop watching them. The O.J. trials > were a prime example. > > Midair Passenger Exchange Grim air-traffic-controller-speak for a head-on collision. Midair passenger exchanges are quickly followed by "aluminum rain." > PEBCAK Tech support shorthand for "Problem Exists Between Chair and Keyboard." (Techies are a frustrated, often arrogant lot. They've submitted numerous acronyms and terms that poke fun at the clueless users who call them up with frighteningly stupid questions. Another variation on the above is ID10T - "This guy has an ID-Ten-T on his system.") > Percussive Maintenance The fine art of whacking the crap out of an electronic device to get it to work again. > Seagull Manager > A manager who flies in, makes a lot of noise, shits over everything > and then leaves. > > Uninstalled Euphemism for being fired. Heard on the voicemail of a vice president at a downsizing computer firm: "You have reached the number of an uninstalled vice president. Please dial our main number and ask the operator for assistance." See also Decruitment. > Vulcan Nerve Pinch The taxing hand position required to reach all of the appropriate keys for certain commands. For instance, the warm re-boot for a Mac II computer involves simultaneously pressing the Control key, the Command key, the Return key and the Power On key.