Fri Apr 14 2000

Correct Bathroom Procedures

Dear Pamela,

One of the joys of my office's atrium view is that I can monitor the correctness of my co-workers' bathroom visitations. Given an inexhaustive correlation of my observations I offer the hypothesis that taking of one's coffee mug to the toilet is unacceptable. Said rooms may well be 'on the way' from one's office to the kitchen, but that is no excuse. Some subjects have been seen to place their mug on a nearby table or ledge outside the bathroom door for the duration of said visitation. I deem this a fine measure of efficiency, however the consequent shortening of the liquid intake cycle is still a cause of concern.

I suggest we form a steering committee in order to evaluate correct techniques for dealing with like inappropriate behaviour. Perhaps we should ban use of the bathroom altogether, or would the installation of magnetic implants in each staff member's shoulder blades be more humane?

Please assign this matter the utmost urgency.



Postscript: my office does have an atrium view, but there is no Pamela. In any case I tend to keep my blinds shut nowadays.

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