Fri Sep 20 1999 |
The Diary of Anne_Frank@hotmail.com A Classic Tale retold in the medium of Spam. Preface ------- It is with great honor that our publishing house presents, for the first time, the gripping first person narrative of a young girl trapped in the midst of despicable circumstances beyond her comprehension, whilst, in the face of mortality, she still must deal with the very commonplace traumas of growing up and intermittent network outages. The original Anne Frank was a young Jewish girl living, with her family, a hidden life under the terror of Nazi rule in the World War II. Having absolutely no social conscience, knowledge of history or clue whatsoever, we have reworked the original to reflect the core values and operating principles of our future-oriented publishing house. If you have any comments on this work, or would like to purchase some quality bulk emailing software or cheap, quality web hosting ONLY $9.95 PER MONTH then please email us at SALES@FULLFRONTALSPAM.COM and we will endeavour to keep you up to date with our future publications. THE DIARY OF ANNE_FRANK@HOTMAIL.COM Date: Sat, 7 Jul 2007 19:07:07 PDT From: Anne_Frank@hotmail.com Subject: oh shit! shit theres a war on down on the street somewhere. mommy says we can't go outside. i havnt been outside in a few yers anyway. theres lots of guns and ppl getting killed right outside our front door, its really scary cos when i woke up thi smorning i could see them right there on the webcam. annie All you need to be happy is your own beautiful smile and cool toys from HyperTeddy Evotronics! v3p://hyperteddy ! Date: Sun, 8 Jul 2007 10:14:57 PDT From: Anne_Frank@hotmail.com Subject: funny hey theres guys in funny suits outside, it looks like a carnival except theyre throwing acid bombs at each other. annie All you need to be happy is your own beautiful smile and cool toys from HyperTeddy Evotronics! v3p://hyperteddy ! Date: Sun, 8 Jul 2007 14:38:26 PDT From: Anne_Frank@hotmail.com Subject: bad gas! there using some sort of bio gas outside, it gets in your lungs and makes you cough real bad. It's a terrifying assault on our community, a physical and psychological assault that goes beyond any recognised ethics; this gas not only pervades one's skin and one's breath, it destroys one's courage and permeates one's convictions with a lingering belligerent apathy. shit i don't know what that bit meatn, it was on the apartment web site. anyways it also says we got good air conditioning. so why can i smell it every time my brother mark farts? hahaha hes smelly annie All you need to be happy is your own beautiful smile and cool toys from HyperTeddy Evotronics! v3p://hyperteddy ! Date: Mon, 9 Jul 17:29:12 PDT From: Anne_Frank@hotmail.com Subject: annies war camera! ive been getting lots of hits on my webcam looking at all the war on the street. i want to put it on a bigger web site somewhere. gee i wish i could get some WEB HOSTING of my own, for only $9.95 PER MONTH! annie All you need to be happy is your own beautiful smile and cool toys from HyperTeddy Evotronics! v3p://hyperteddy ! Date: Tue, 10 Jul 08:18:41 PDT From: Anne_Frank@hotmail.com Subject: new site! the nice people at FULLFRONTALSPAM set me up a WEB HOSTING for only $9.95 PER MONTH! And look what I get: * my own domain! v3p://annie193.fullfrontalspam/ * unlimited bandwidth! * bulk email advertising! * database access! (whats a database?) * scripting(??!?) * another damn FREE email address! * lots of cartoon pictures for my site * server-side video compression * full accounting and logging * a pile of little virtual animals * electronic postcards * my own chat room * some funny jokes to add to my web site! * a shopping cart * a free subscription to a perfume catalog * a cute photo of a panda bear Doesn't that sound GREAT! YOU TOO could get ALL THIS AND MORE! They even gave me a new credit card to pay for it all with! annie All you need to be happy is your own beautiful smile and cool toys from HyperTeddy Evotronics! v3p://hyperteddy ! Date: Tue, 10 Jul 2007 18:28:32 PDT From: Anne_Frank@hotmail.com Subject: EASY CASH! GET IT NOW! I just worked out how to make a million dollars and I'm going to tell you my secret! Anyone can do this at home, and you don't even have to give up your day job or skip school for it! I've been locked inside for AGES because there's a WAR on outside, and its given me time to think about HOW TO MAKE MONEY! FAST! Send me five bucks and I'll tell you how! annie All you need to be happy is your own beautiful smile and cool toys from HyperTeddy Evotronics! v3p://hyperteddy ! Date: Wed, 11 Jul 2007 11:28:41 PDT From: Anne_Frank@hotmail.com Subject: moms pissed haha moms getting really angry cos my webcams getting more hits than hers and i don't even have to walk around with no clothes on! annie All you need to be happy is your own beautiful smile and cool toys from HyperTeddy Evotronics! v3p://hyperteddy ! Date: Fri, 13 Jul 2007 13:38:16 PDT From: Anne_Frank@hotmail.com Subject: tits mommy says im startingto grow up. I've noticed myself changing lately and I thought it was wierd, but mommy says its normal. The most noticeable thing is that i'd really REALLY like to watch HORNY COUPLES DOING IT LIVE wouldn't you? YES! HOT SEXY MEN AND WOMEN GOING FOR IT RIGHT ON YOUR VIDEOPHONE!! And I wish I could CONTROL THE ACTION too cos that would be nice. annie All you need to be happy is your own beautiful smile and cool toys from HyperTeddy Evotronics! v3p://hyperteddy ! Date: Sat, 14 Jul 2007 19:07:07 PDT From: Anne_Frank@hotmail.com Subject: war's over that war on the street is over now. its kinda wierd cos it went on longer than usual. i've made my million dollars now. some of it came from the webcam but most of it came from the suckers who sent me five bucks. annie Get your authentic FAKE PEOPLE and underground bulk email from Full Frontal Spam! SALES@FULLFRONTALSPAM.COMK.
Copyright © 1995-2010 Conrad Parker <conrad@vergenet.net>. Last modified Tue Feb 19 2002